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No, this is not the title of some odd, indie sit-com. Rather, it is the (equally odd) summary of the past two days. Perhaps an explanation may help?

So, on Friday evening, we were joined by Christopher William Hill, at Hogarth Primary School. Let me tell you something about Christopher. He comes across as a very kind, gentle man, with a penchant for cake. Perfectly innocent you may believe. But, I am not so sure; for starters, he is convinced that nuns want him dead. This is not the belief of a sane man! Add to this that Christopher took great delight in enticing children into smelling all manner of revolting aromas, including burnt human heart, and you will soon come to realise that he is not quite as sweet as he first appears. Having said that, it is Christopher’s dark humour that makes him an absolute joy to listen to and his books enormously entertaining. Bravo!

Onto Beasties. This morning, Giles Paley-Philips left the seaside and took a jaunt out to Essex. Giles, like Christopher, has a slightly wicked side. If you believe that all children’s stories are fluffy and cute, with happily ever after endings, the The Fearsome Beastie is not for you. All does not end well for said Beastie, but the children do not fare too well either if I’m honest. Giles read not one, but two super books, as well as leading the group on a beastie creation of their very own. We had Sausage Sandwich, the Chomper, Jeff and many more. The monsters varied in size from rather tiny, to unfeasibly huge, with appetites including cheese, socks and children. It was wonderful to see the way that the audience responded to Giles’ encouragement to come up with briliant ideas of their own.

Spacemen next! Well, to begin with, one specific Spaceman – Tim Peake. Not in person of course, but as part of Michelle Robinson’s lovely bedtime read, Goodnight Spaceman. Michelle encouraged the audience to become astronauts, moonwalking around the hall, with a very willing dad on hand to be our very own Tim Peake for the afternoon. Planets were created, stories were told, facts were shared. It was out of this world! Astronaut ice-cream was on the menu too. The jury is out as to whether it got a thumbs up or thumbs down. I’m guessing that astronauts are pretty grateful for what they get!

And lastly, knights. Elli Woollard shared her poetic tale about a nibblesome knight and a not so scary dragon. She may have also said ‘bum’ and ‘fart’, but I wouldn’t know about that, as I am a grown up… There was a dragon’s egg, a real baby dragon and shield decorating. Thankfully, the battle between Sir Max and the Dragon did not go ahead, thanks to Elli’s extraordinary peacemaking skills.

Please note the breathing apparatus that Christopher refused to share!

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